The answer is always YES even if your small limited personality self claims otherwise. We are born worthy! It is our innate nature to receive life of JOY, PEACE, VITALITY, ABUNDANCE, LOVE, FREEDOM. It is not something we need to earn, to deserve, to achieve.
We get to have it all just because we are!
Worthiness has been at the forefront of my healing and transformational journey. Guilt, shame and unworthiness have been my core emotions for a very long time, and still creep in from time to time to remind me of how far I've come.
What is worthiness and how do we become worthy if we don't feel WORTHY?
To begin I'd like to share an example of my "unworthiness". Although a personal experience, it is a similar pattern that I see my clients and friends engage in as their own manifestations of this program.
Unworthiness can show up as self-sabotage, perfectionism, being an overachiever, a people pleaser. It can manifest as self-harming, addictive behaviors, or binging. It can even show up as selflessness.
I experienced it all to a certain extent. Now my (perceived) unworthiness shows up as resistance. I know I have a project to work on, that I am passionate about, and I know how important it is for me to complete it and yet I find myself mindlessly scrolling on IG, watching Netflix instead, procrastinating, saying i'll start tomorrow, finding million other things to do.
It is the feelings of doubt, self-pity and frustration that keep me in the loop of my unworthiness and lead to resistance: doubt I am never gonna live up to my dreams; self-pity I am not good enough for the life I envision for myself; frustration about not being where i think i ought to be...
These thoughts and feelings, if uninterrupted, eventually lead to shame and guilt for my worthlessness and inadequacy... brining me back into more self-pity, and more of the unloving unworthy behavior that only reinforces the UNWORTHINESS and so on goes the loop.
All of these thoughts and feelings are illusions in my own mind. They are remnants of old programs I have been diligently rewiring. I know it now. And whenever these thoughts and feelings creep in to my head I remember. I remember how to transform and transmute them. But I didn't before. The old me would allow the self-pitying, self-judgement, self-criticism lead me into the loop of compulsive behavior, be that my fridge and binge eating or binge scrolling, and deeper into the old program. When we reach for things outside of us to self-sooth us, we create a compulsive loop of behavior, but now I know to reach into my own heart instead and to create a safe space for me to feel my limiting feelings and to remind myself of the truth of who I am and of my worthiness. You see, it is unworthy of me to reach for the fridge or for my phone. But it is worthy of me to give myself time and space to feel and to heal. It is unworthy of me to allow my limiting beliefs to keep me stuck in this destructive loop of resistance and self-doubt, but it is worthy of me to lean into the foundation I have built for my emotions to be expressed in constructive and healthy way. Only I can show myself how it is to feel/be worthy.
photo by Aaron Brown from Dr Joe Dispenza retreat I attended in July 24, where I reconciled with all parts of me, forgave myself for abandoning myself so many times before, and remembered my worth even more than before.
So where do we begin if we want to break from the loop of unworthiness and the destructive feelings/thoughts/behaviors it leads us into?
First step in my book and my methodology of guiding others is always AWARENESS. We don't know what we don't know. Become the observer of your thoughts. Notice your energy, and your feelings throughout the day and especially during the times you feel drained, depleted, anxious, doubting, frustrated, unworthy! And let them show you your state of mind, and where the work needs to be done.
Second is SELF-ACCOUNTABILITY and SELF-RESPONSIBILITY. Acknowledging the fact that NO ONE, NO THING outside of us is making us be this way, taking responsibility for the way we think and feel and responding differently, taking action to transmute these limiting feelings of unworthiness IS THE MOST WORTHY THING YOU CAN DO FOR YOURSELF.
Lean into your SELF-CARE practices. Whenever I become aware of the feelings of unworthiness coming up I double down on my practices. This is when my commitment is tested. It is easy to slip into behaviors that are only reinforcing my feelings of unworthiness: to skip a meditation, to stay glued to my phone instead of connecting with my loved one, to not go for a walk, or to reach for a junk food instead of a nourishing meal. This is when my self-care practice matters the most. This is the time to exercise my discipline, to keep my commitment and trust with myself!
REMEMBER your worthiness! Easiest way for me to connect with my innate worthiness is to connect with my self as a baby, or a child- a bubble of joy, innocence and love. How can a baby not be worthy?!
Embrace COMPASSION and SELF-FORGIVENESS for mistakes, mishaps, for the past self who didn't know better, for the journey and CELEBRATE how far you've come even if it seems like you are back to square 1. Healing and rewiring patterns that are deeply conditioned into our personality takes effort, and time. And it is never a linear path. The more we heal, the more awareness we gain to see the same pattern show up in a different area of our life, so we can heal more. The more we heal, the bigger our capacity for healing is.
Spend TIME IN NATURE. For me Nature is perfect in every way. There is order and time for everything and the cycles are observed with no resistance from the plant and animal kingdom. Nature is healing and it brings up our most sacred worthy nature.
Remember: you do NOT need to do it ALONE! Surround yourself with support, friends who value you for who you are and receive you with unconditional love.
Reach out to a professional who can help you navigate your transformational journey and create a safe space to welcome all of you. It speeds up growth and makes it easier to have someone guide you and cheer you on along the way!
EMBODY WORTHINESS! How does it feel to be whole, perfect, complete? How does it feel to be Divine's most favorite child? How does it feel to be loved, to be cared for, to be fully alive? Tap into these feelings in your meditation or HeartMath practice: cultivating them in your heart, sensing them in your body, connecting with them and embodying them in your daily life.
You are worthy just because you exist!
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